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Sex Jokes - Masturbation Jokes
Take Your Pick
An old man of 70 married a young girl of 18. When they got into bed the night after the wedding, he held up three fingers. "Oh honey," said the young nymph, "Does that mean we're going to do it three times?" "No." said the old man, "It means you can take your pick."
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Teen Bliss
Me and my wife were trying to think of a gift for my son's birthday. "What would you have wanted at 13?" she asked. She wasn't impressed with my reply of "Pornography and a wrist support"
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Little Johnny - Poker
Little Johnny had become a real nuisance while his father tried to concentrate on his Saturday afternoon poker game with friends and relatives. His father tried every way possible to get Johnny to occupy himself: television, ice cream, homework, video games... But the youngster insisted on running back and forth behind the players and calling out the cards they held. The other players became so annoyed that they threatened to quit the game and all go home. At this point, the boy's uncle stood up, took Johnny by the hand, and led him out of the room. The uncle soon returned back to the poker table without Johnny, and without comment the game resumed. For the rest of the afternoon, little Johnny was nowhere to be seen and the card players continued without any further interruptions.
After the poker game ended, the father asked Johnny's uncle, "What in the world did you say to Johnny? I haven't heard a peep from him all day!"
"Not much," the boy's uncle replied. "I just showed him how to masturbate."
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