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Sex Jokes - Masturbation Jokes
Signals
On their first night together, the newly weds decided to set up signals concerning their "urges". The lady said "If you want it, squeeze my boob once, if you don't want it, squeeze my boob twice." The gent said "OK, if you want it, pull my dong once, if you don't want it, pull my dong 48 times."
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S & M
My wife and I are into S & M she sleeps and I masturbate.
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Subtle and Discreet
Drinking gets you in many unpredictable positions. Has your wife or girlfriend ever caught you passed out, sitting on the couch, with your pants around your ankles while you have a kung fu grip on your penis, like you're giving her the thumbs up on marrying such a subtle and discreet man? Well, that wasn't the embarrassing thing about it. The porn on demand had ended, and the previous channel that had popped up was blaring, "Do-Da Dora, Do-Da Dora!"
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