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Sex Jokes - Bestiality Jokes
Have You Ever Seen a Ghost?
A visiting professor at the University of Alabama is giving a seminar on the supernatural. To get a feel for his audience, he asks: "How many people here believe in ghosts?". About 90 students raise their hands. "Well that's a good start. Out of those of you who believe in ghosts, do any of you think you've ever seen a ghost?". About 40 students raise their hands. "That's really good. I'm really glad you take this seriously. Has anyone here ever talked to a ghost?" 15 students raise their hands. "That's a great response. Has anyone here ever touched a ghost?" 3 students raise their hands. "That's fantastic. But let me ask you one question further. Have any of you ever made love to a ghost?" One student in the back raises his hand. The professor is astonished. He takes off glasses, takes a step back, and says, "Son, all the years I've been giving this lecture, no one has ever claimed to have slept with a ghost. You've got to come up here and tell us about your experience." The redneck student (remember, this is Alabama) replies with a nod and begins to make his way up to the podium. The professor says, "Well, tell us what it's like to have sex with a Ghost." The student replies, "Ghost?!? I thought you said 'goats!'"
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Headdress
Barbara Walters was doing a documentary on the customs of American Indians. After a tour of a reservation, she asked a Brave, who had only one feather in his headdress, "Why the difference in the number of feathers in the headdresses?"
His reply was, "Me have only one squaw, me have only one feather." She asked another Brave, feeling the first fellow was only joking. This Brave had four feathers in his headdress.
He replied, "Ugh; me have four feathers because me sleep with four squaws." Still not convinced the number of feathers indicated the number of squaws involved, she decided to interview the Chief. Now the Chief had a headdress full of feathers, which, needless to say, amused Ms. Walters.
She asked the Chief, "Why do you have so many feathers in your headdress?"
The Chief proudly pounded his chest and said, "Me Chief. Me fuck-em all. Big, small, fat, tall. Me fuck-em all."
Horrified, Ms. Walters stated, "You ought to be hung!"
The Chief replied, "You damned right, me hung. Big like buffalo, long like snake."
Ms. Walters cried, "You don't have to be so goddamned hostile!"
The Chief replied, "Hoss-style, dog- style, wolf-style, any-style, me fuck-em all!"
With tears in her eyes, Ms. Walters cried, "Oh dear." The Chief said, "No deer. Me no fuck deer. Asshole too high and fuckers run too fast. No fuck deer!"
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Wife and Best Friend
A man walks into a bar and orders a triple scotch. The barman gives it to him and he gulps in down in one swoop. "Hey buddy, you must be having it rough. Whats up with you?" says the bartender. "Well, I got home early from work last night and found my wife and my best friend in bed with each other!" "That's terrible pal, the next drink is on the house." So the bartender gives him another tripple scotch and again he gulps it down. "If you don't mind me asking, what did you say to your wife?" "I told her I've had enough and I want a divorce!" "Good for you! You said the right thing. So what did you say to your best friend?" "Well, I walked up to him, looked him straight in the eyes and said ... BAD DOG!"
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