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Sex Jokes
Join the Biker Club
A little old lady wanted to join a biker club. She knocked on the door of a local biker club and a big, hairy, bearded biker with tattoos all over his arms answers the door. She proclaimed, "I want to join your biker club." The guy was amused and told her that she needed to meet certain biker requirements before she was allowed to join. So the biker asked her, "You have a bike?" The little old lady said, "Yeah, that's my Harley over there," and points to a Harley parked in the driveway. The biker asked her, "Do you smoke?" The little old lady said, "Yeah, I smoke. I smoke four packs of cigarettes a day and a couple of cigars while I'm shooting pool." The biker was impressed and asked, "Well, have you ever been picked up by the fuzz?" The little old lady said, "No, I've never been picked up by the fuzz, but I've been swung around by my nipples a few times."
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Shady Conceptions
Q: Did you know that you can get a woman pregnant from anal intercourse?
A: That's how lawyers are made.
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Tarzan's New Parts
Tarzan is attacked by a lion in the jungle. The animal rips off Tarzan's arm, eye and penis. His jungle friends help him by giving him the spare parts he needs -- the eye of an eagle, the arm of a gorilla, and an elephant trunk for a d**k. Later, Cheeta the Chimp asks Tarzan how his new parts are working out for him. "Tarzan like. With new eye, can see far. With new arm, Tarzan strong. But no like new wee-wee." "Why's that?" "It keep picking grass and shoving in Tarzan's ass."
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