Sex Jokes

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Voodoo Dick

A businessman was about to go on a long business trip, and was worried that his wife would cheat on him while he was gone. So to prevent this, he visited the local sex shop in order to buy his wife a vibrator to keep her occupied in his absence.
After examining the products, he hadn't found an appropriately amazing vibrator and asked the store clerk for help. The store clerk recommended the "Voodoo Dick." "How does it work?" asked the businessman. The clerk unwrapped the Voodoo Dick from its ceremonial tiki box and said to it, "Voodoo Dick that door." The vibrator flew out of the box and attacked the door with such vigor that the door split in half. "Fantastic," said the man. "I'll take it!" He instructed his wife on how to use the Voodoo Dick and left on his business trip. Soon, his wife decided to try it out and said the magic words: "Voodoo Dick my pussy." The Voodoo Dick flew out of the box and gave her orgasm after orgasm. But soon it became too much, and she couldn't figure out how to make it stop. So she got into her car and began driving to the hospital, swerving so much that she got pulled over by the police. The policeman asked her why she was driving so recklessly and she explained to him that she had a Voodoo Dick inside her that wouldn't leave her alone. The policeman looked at her skeptically and said, "Voodoo Dick, my ass."

Categories: Sex Jokes (Masturbation Jokes) , Relationship Jokes (Marriage Jokes) , Profession Jokes (Police Jokes)
Anonymous

Washcloth

There was this lady who was in the shower & her little boy walked in on her taking a shower & he saw her pubic hairs & says: "Mommy what's that?" as he pointed down to her. "Well, that's Mommy's washcloth." The next day he walked in on her again, & asked her again & she says it was her washcloth. Well, this time when he walked out she shaved it off because she got tired of him asking. So the next day when he walked in on her, he asks: "Mommy what happened to your washcloth?" "Uh, Mommy lost it." So the little boy walked out. The next day he walked in on his mom & says: "Hey Mommy, the maid found your washcloth & she is washing Daddy's face with it!"

Categories: Sex Jokes (Private Parts) , Relationship Jokes (Cheater Jokes) , Sex Jokes (Oral Sex Jokes) , Jokes about Families (Son Jokes) , Jokes about Families (Father Jokes) , Jokes about Families (Mother Jokes)
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Anonymous

Transplant

Q: Did you hear about the guy who had a dick transplant?
A: His hand rejected it.

Categories: Funny Thoughts , Sex Jokes (Masturbation Jokes) , Sex Jokes (Private Parts) , Riddles , Word Play Jokes
Anonymous
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