Condom Sponsors!

Imagine if major companies from all around the world started producing or sponsoring condoms. They would become fashionable and companies would probably advertise more openly.  Imagine the trademarks:

• Nike Condoms - Just do It! 
• Toyota Condoms - Oh what a feeling
• Ford Condoms - The ride of your life
• Sony Condoms - Do not underestimate the power of Sony
• Microsoft Condoms - Where do you want to go today?
• KFC Condoms - Finger Licking Good
• M&Ms Condoms - Melt in your mouth, not in your hands
• Coca-Cola Condom - The Real Thing
• Ever-Ready Condoms - Keep going and going
• Macintosh Condoms - It does more, it costs less, it's that simple
• Pringles Condoms - Once you pop, you can't stop

Pickle Slicer

Bill has worked in a pickle factory for several years. One day he confesses to his wife that he has a terrible urge to stick his penis into the pickle slicer. His wife suggests that he see a therapist to talk about it, but Bill vows to overcome this rash desire on his own. A few weeks later, Bill returns home absolutely ashen. His wife asks, "What's wrong, Bill?" "Do you remember how I told you about my tremendous urge to put my penis into the pickle slicer?" His wife gasps, "My God, Bill, what happened?" "I got fired." "No, Bill -- I mean, what happened with the pickle slicer?" "Oh, um, she got fired, too."

Farmer's Boys

A farmer had three sons. One day his oldest came to him and said that since he was graduating from high school, he would really like to get a car. His father said, "Son, come here." He took him to the barn and pointed to the tractor and said, "This tractor is needed for the farm and I promise, as soon as it's paid for, we'll get you a car." The boy was not too happy, but was understanding. A week later, his second son approached him wanting a motorcycle. "Well", the father said, "as soon as the tractor is paid for we'll see about getting you your scooter. "Shortly after, his youngest was bugging him for a bike. Again, the father gave him the lecture about the tractor needing to be paid off first. While leaving the barn, the young boy, a little disgusted with his father's explanation, saw the farm rooster doing it's rooster duty with one of the hens. He promptly went over and kicked the rooster off the hen's back, mumbling to himself. His dad asked, "Son, now why would you do something like that? He didn't do anything to deserve that." The third son replied, "Hey, nobody around here rides anything until that tractor gets paid off!"