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Sex Jokes
Competitive Neighbors
Two neighbors, John and Sam, are always competing. One day John looks over the fence and spies Sam's wife, naked, watering the garden. When Sam gets home from work, John brags to him that he's seen his wife naked. Sam wants revenge, so that night creeps over to John's yard and catches sight of John's wife performing oral sex. The next day, Sam approaches John at the mailbox. "Hey, I saw your wife performing oral sex on you last night." "Ha ha, the joke's on you," John says, "I wasn't home last night!"
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Poker
One night a boy wakes up and goes into his parents room and they're having sex. He asks what they're doing and the father says "we're playing poker" and the mother says "And I'm his partner." He then goes into his grandparents room and asks what they're doing. The grandfather says "We're playing poker" and the grandmother says "and I'm his partner." He then goes into his brothers room and he's wanking. He asks what he's doing. The brother says "I'm playing poker." The other brother asks why he doesn't have a partner and the brother replies, "You don't need a partner if you have a good hand!"
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A Black and a White Guy in Heaven
A white guy and a black guy died and were on their way up to Heaven and they had to stop at the Pearly Gates before they could enter. So the Angel Gabriel was there waiting for them, and he told them that they had to do something before they could go anywhere. He told the white guy to pull down his pants, so he did and Gabriel grabbed his dick and squeezed. It instantly melted. The white screamed in pain, and was sent downstairs. Gabriel told the black guy to do the same, and he grabbed his dick and squeezed but nothing happened. When Gabriel asked him why it didn't affect him, he said, "This is the type of chocolate that melts in your mouth and not in your hands".
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