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Sex Jokes
Three Girls
There were three girls in a bar. One girl says, "I can get a whole hand up my vagina!"
Then the second girl says, "Well, I can get a whole foot up mine!"
Finally, the other girl says, "I don't mean to brag, but could you help me off this stool!"
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Job Well Done!
A man and woman were celebrating their 50 year anniversary. That night, the woman comes out of the bathroom completely naked and looks at her husband who is already in bed. She says, "Honey, 50 years ago tonight, when I came out of the bathroom with no clothes on, what were you thinking?" He said, "I was thinking that I wanted to suck your titties dry and fuck you until you couldn't think straight." She smiled at him and said, "So what are you thinking now?" He said, "I think I did a pretty good job!"
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Bad Jeeves
A wealthy couple had planned to go out for the evening. The woman of the house decided to give their butler, Jeeves, the rest of the night off. She said they would be home very late, and that he should just enjoy his evening.
As it turned out, however, the wife wasn't having a good time at the party, so she came home early, alone. Her husband had to stay there, as several of his important clients were there.
As the woman walked into her house, she saw Jeeves sitting by himself in the dining room. She called for him to follow her, and led him into the master bedroom. She looked at him and smiled. "Jeeves," she said. "Take off my dress."
He did this carefully. "Jeeves," she continued. "Take off my stockings and garter."
He silently obeyed her. "Jeeves," she then said. "Remove my bra and panties. "
As he did this, the tension continued to mount. She then said, "Jeeves, if I ever catch you wearing my clothes again, you're fired!"
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