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Little Red and Big Bad Wolf
Little Red Riding Hood was packing her things. Her mother asked, "Where are you going, Lil' Red?" Red said, "To grandma's." Her mother said, "Okay, but watch out for the Big Bad Wolf. He'll pull up your little red dress, pull down your little red panties and freak your little red socks off." Lil' Red replied, "Don't worry, I've got a gun." So about a mile down the road, Lil' Red met the Three Little Pigs. They asked where she was going and she said, "Grandma's house." The Pigs warned, "Watch out for the Big Bad Wolf. He'll pull up your little red dress, pull down your little red panties and freak your little red socks off!" She told them, "Don't worry, I've got a gun." About two more miles down the road, the Big Bad Wolf leapt out of the forest and grabbed Lil' Red. He shouted "Ha! I finally caught you!" And she cried, "Don't tell me you're gonna pull up my little red dress, pull down my little red panties and freak my little red socks off." "Yes I am," said the Wolf, drooling. "No, you ain't," said Little Red. "What do you mean," said the Wolf, taken aback. Lil' Red pulled up her little red dress, pulled down her little red panties, pulled out her big silver gun and said, "Nope, you're gonna eat me like it says in the book."
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Gay Parents
Q: Why does it suck to be raised by gay parents?
A: You never get a straight answer to your questions.
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Adjustments
There was a young man in the Air Force who was so well-endowed that it was bothering his knee. Three Air Force doctors and one Air Force nurse were in the operating room to remedy the situation. The first doctor said, "We'll just take a big hunk off the end." They discussed it and decided that would affect his sensitivity. The second doctor said, "We'll just take a big hunk out of the middle of it." They discussed this, and decided it would change the texture and feel of it. The third doctor said, "We'll just take a big hunk off the base of it." They discussed this, too, and agreed that it might give him erection problems. The doctors heard a sniffling, and looked over at the nurse who had tears running down her cheeks. The nurse cried, "Can't we just make his legs longer?"
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