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Sex Jokes
Four Fleas
There were four fleas on a woman's thighs. Two were smoking pot and the other two were sniffing crack.
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Timbuktu
It seems that two of the great Romantic British Poets, Shelly and Keats, died on the same day. When they got to heaven St. Peter said, "I'm sorry, but I only have room for one poet. I'll tell you what I'll do. Each of you must make up a poem using the word 'Timbuktu.' The one who creates the best poem I'll let into heaven."
So Shelly goes first. He thinks a bit and after a few moments, he starts, "I stood upon the burning sand, gazing at a far off land. A caravan came into view - it's destination: Timbuktu."
"Very good!" says St. Peter, "Keats it's your turn. Do you think you can top that one?"
Keats just smiled and started his poem: "Tim and I a hunting went, and found three maidens in a tent. Since they were three and we were two, I bucked one and Timbuktu."
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Good, Bad, Worse
Good: Your children are sexually active.
Bad: With each other.
Worse: And your wife.
Good: Hot outdoor sex.
Bad: Getting arrested.
Worse: By your husband.
Good: The teacher likes your son.
Bad: Sexually.
Worse: The teacher is a he.
Good: You go home for a quickie.
Bad: You get caught by your wife
Worse: You're with her sister.
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