The Essay

A university creative writing class was asked to write a concise essay containing the following four elements: Religion, Royalty, Sex, and Mystery. The prize-winning essay read: "My God," said the Queen. "I'm pregnant. I wonder who did it?"

Four Benefits of Breast Milk

A question had appeared in a student's medical examination which read: "List four benefits of breast milk." A student began to answer the question: 1. No need to bottle it. 2. Cats can't steal it. 3. Available whenever necessary. But the fourth point eluded him. When there were barely a couple of minutes before the exam ended, the fourth point flashed before his mind. So he completed the answer by writing: 4. Available in attractive containers.

Been In College Too Long...

• You consider McDonald's "real food."
• You actually like doing laundry at home. 4:00 AM is still early on the weekends.
• It starts getting late on the weeknights.
• Two miles is not too far to walk for a party.
• You wear dirty socks three times in a row and think nothing of it.
• You'd rather clean than study.
• Half the time you don't wake up in your own bed and it seems normal.
• Computer Solitaire is more than a game, it's a way of life.
• You schedule your classes around sleep habits and soaps.
• You know the pizza boy by name.
• You go to sleep when it's light and get up when it's dark.
• You live for getting mail. (E-mail included)
• Prank phone calls become funny again.
• Wal-Mart is the coolest store.
• World War III could take place and you'd be clueless.
• You start thinking and sounding like your roommate.
• Black lights and highlighters are the coolest things on earth.
• Rearranging your room is your favorite pastime.
• You find out milk crates have so many uses.
• The weekend lasts from Thursday to Sunday (or Wednesday morning to Tuesday night).