Four Big Ten Alumni

Four college alumni were climbing a mountain one day. Each was from a different Big Ten school and each proclaimed to be the most loyal of all fans at their Alma mater. As they climbed higher, they argued as to which one of them was the most loyal of all. They continued to argue all the way up the mountain, and finally as they reached the top, the Boilermaker hurled himself off the mountain, shouting, "This is for Purdue!" as he fell to his doom.
Not wanting to be out done, the Wildcat threw himself off the mountain proclaiming, "This is for Northwestern!" Seeing this, the Buckeye walked over and shouted, "This is for everyone!!!" and pushed the Wolverine off the side of the mountain.

College Exam Plea

O Lord, hear my anxious plea Calculus is killing me I know not of 'dx' or 'dy' And probably won't until the day I die. Please, Lord, help me in this hour As I take my case to the highest power. I care not for fame or loot Just help me find one square root. And Lord, please let me see One passing mark in organic chemistry. Oh such a thing I constantly dread I'd just as soon join the Marines instead. Lord, please give me a sign That you've been listening all the time. Please lead me out of this constant coma And give me a shot at my diploma. 

Coach Wants A Raise

The basketball coach stormed into the university president's office and demanded a raise right then and there. "Please," protested the college President, "you already make more than the entire History department." "Yeah, maybe so, but you don't know what I have to put up with," the coach blustered. "Look." He went out into the hall and grabbed a jock who was jogging down the hallway. "Run over to my office and see if I'm there," he ordered. Twenty minutes later the jock returned, sweaty and out of breath. "You're not there, sir," he reported. "Oh, I see what you mean," conceded the President, scratching his head. "I would have phoned."