God Made Woman and Man

God created earth, and it was good. Then God created woman, and it was better. Then, one day, Eve said, "God, I'm bored what can you do for me?" And God said in response, "I'll tell you what, I'll make you a man, he'll cook, clean, be nice, sensitive, sweet, and even open doors for you. He'll be every thing you ever wanted in a man. But you have to do one thing," Eve asked curiously, "What?" God said, "You have to get him to believe that I made him first."

How To Shower Like A Man

1. Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.
2. Walk naked to the bathroom. If you see your wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the "woo" sound.
3. Look at your manly physique in the mirror and suck in your gut to see if you have pecs (no). Admire the size of your wiener in the mirror, scratch your "privates" and smell your fingers for one last whiff.
4. Get in the shower.
5. Pee
6. Don't bother to look for a washcloth (you don't use one).
7. Wash your face.
8. Wash your armpits.
9. Crack up at how loud your fart sounds in the shower.
10. Wash your privates and surrounding area.
11. Wash your butt, leaving hair on the soap bar.
12. Shampoo your hair (do not use conditioner).
13. Make a shampoo Mohawk.
14. Pull back shower curtain and look at yourself in the mirror.
15. Rinse off and get out of the shower. Fail to notice water on the floor because you left the curtain hanging out of the tub the whole time.
16. Partially dry off.
17. Look at yourself in the mirror, flex muscles. Admire wiener size again.
18. Leave shower curtain open and wet bath mat on the floor.
19. Leave bathroom fan and light on.
20. Return to the bedroom with towel around your waist. If you pass your wife, pull off the towel, grab your wiener, go "Yeah baby" and thrust your pelvis at her.
21. Throw wet towel on the bed.
22. Take 2 minutes to get dressed.

Homeless Men

All men are not homeless, but some men are home less than others.