Measure Up

I asked my partner if I was the only one she’s been with.
She said, “Yes, the others were at least sevens or eights.”

Truly Committed Man

Q: Where do you have to go to find a man who is truly into commitment?
A: A mental hospital.

Early Withdrawals

The husband was furious when he found out the checking account was empty. When he confronted his wife, she simply said, "It's my turn." "What do you mean, your turn?" yelled the husband. "In bed," she explained, "you've been making early withdrawals for years. Now, it's my turn."