Riddles - Police Jokes

Profiling

Two priests are out driving and they get pulled over by a cop. The cop approaches the priests vehicle and says to the driver "Sorry to pull you over father, but we’re looking for a couple of child molesters." The two priests look at each other for a few moments and then have a few quiet words to each other. The driver turns back to the cop and says, "Alright officer, we’ll do it"

Anonymous

Excuse For Speeding

A cop pulls a car over on the highway for speeding. When he asks for the driver's license, the driver argued, "Speeding? Officer, I was only trying to keep a safe distance between my car the the car in back of me."

Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous

Police Quotes

  • "The handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch out after you wear them awhile."
  • "If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."
  • "So, you don't know how fast you were going. I guess that means I can write anything I want on the ticket, huh?"
  • "Yes sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think it will help. Oh, did I mention that I am the shift supervisor?"
  • "Warning! You want a warning? O.K., I'm warning you not to do that again or I'll give you another ticket."
  • "The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or dog?"
  • "Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven."
  • "Life's tough, it's tougher if you're stupid."
  • "No sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to have quotas, but now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we want."
  • "Just how big were those two beers?"
  • "In God we trust, all others are suspects."

Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous
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