French Horn Jokes

Q: What do you get when you cross a French horn player with a goal post?
A: A goal post that can't march.
Q: How many French horn players does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Just one, but he'll spend two hours checking the bulb for alignment and leaks.
Q: How do you make a trombone sound like a French horn?
A: Put your hand in the bell and miss a lot of notes.
Q: How do horn players traditionally greet each other?
A: "Hi. I did that piece in junior high."
Q: How do you get your viola section to sound like the horn section?
A: Have them miss every other note.
Q: What is the difference between a french horn section and a '57 Chevy?
A: You can tune a '57 Chevy.

Bumper Stickers

• Clinton doesn't inhale, he sucks
• USE CAUTION! 90% of people are made by accident.
• It's a dog eat dog world... and I'm wearing milkbone underwear!!!
• I break for hallucinations
• My Lawyer Can Beat Your Lawyer
• Blondes Are Not Dumb (the bumper sticker was upside-down)
• DADDY FARTED AND WE CAN'T GET OUT!!
• IF YOU DON'T LIKE MY DRIVING, STAY OFF THE SIDEWALK!!!
• Nuck Fewt
• ORGASM DONOR
• My child made Student of the Month at Juvenile Hall
• No radio. Already stolen.
• Want a taste of religion? Bite a minister.
• So many pedestrians, so little time.
• My other wife is beautiful.
• I need someone really bad. Are you really bad?
• Don't laugh. Your daughter could be in this vehicle.
• There is one in every crowd and they always find me.
• I love animals - They taste great!
• I'd rather step in shit than smoke it.
• Unless you are a hemorrhoid - get off my ass!
• On the back of a caterer's truck: "Nobody beats our meat!"

Lawyers and Sperm

Q: What do a lawyer and a sperm have in common?
A: They both hope to be human someday.