Condolences

A young minister, in the first days of his first parish, was obliged to call upon the widow of an eccentric man who had just died. Standing before the open casket and consoling the widow, he said, "I know this must be a very hard blow, Mrs. Vernon. But we must remember that what we see here is the husk only, the shell...the nut has gone to heaven."

Belfast Taxi

An American guy goes to Belfast and the taxi driver at the airport asks him if he's Protestant or Catholic. Guy says he's jewish. The cab driver says, "Oh, I understand." A minute of silence passes and the driver asks, "So are you a Protestant Jew or a Catholic Jew?"

False God Talk

People who talk about false gods are engaged in idol gossip.