Bible Talk!

A pastor went out one Saturday to visit his church members. At one house, it was obvious that someone was home, but nobody came to the door even though the preacher knocked several times. Finally, the preacher took out his card, wrote out "Revelation 3:20" on the back of it, and stuck it in the door: "Behold, I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in to him and dine with him, and he with me. - Revelation 3:20"
The next day, the card turned up in the collection plate. Below the preacher's message was written the following notation: "I heard your voice in the garden, and I was afraid because I was naked; and I hid myself. - Genesis 3:10"

Sunday Service Announcement

"And once again the low self-esteem therapy group meets here at the Salvation Army Hall next Tuesday at 3.00 P.M. Remember that we prefer if you would use the back entrance."

Excited Preacher

The preacher was wired for sound with a lapel mike, and as he preached, he moved briskly about the platform, jerking the mike cord as he went. Then he moved to one side, getting wound up in the cord and nearly tripping before jerking it again. After several circles and jerks, a little girl in the third pew leaned toward her mother and whispered, "If he gets loose, will he hurt us?"