Telling Some Stories

Delivering a speech at a banquet on the night of his arrival in a large city, a visiting minister told several anecdotes he expected to repeat at meetings the next day. Because he wanted to use the jokes again, he requested the reporters to omit them from any accounts they might turn in to their newspapers. A cub reporter, in commenting on the speech, ended his piece with the following: "The minister told a number of stories that cannot be published." 

Sinner Bill

Q: Why do some people call Bill Clinton a sinner?
A: Because he broke the 11th commandment. ''Thou shalt not use thy rod on thy Staff''

Morris' Confusion

Morris was passing a small courtyard and heard voices murmuring.  He went in and saw an altar with a large zero in the middle and a banner that said 'N I L'. White-robed people were kneeling before the altar chanting hymns to "The Great Nullity" ,"The Blessed Emptiness", and "The Big Zero in the Sky". Morris turned to a white-robed observer beside him and whispered, "Is Nothing Sacred?"