Walking On Water

Three ministers were out on a lake fishing one fine afternoon. A Protestant minister, an Episcopalian priest and a Catholic priest. They were sitting out in the middle of the lake and the Protestant minister said he had to relieve himself, so he got out of the boat and walked across the water to shore, relieved himself behind a tree. Then walked back to the boat. The Episcopalian priest did the same thing. The Catholic priest thought to himself, if they can do it, so can I. So he stepped out of the boat and promptly sank to the bottom. The other two looked at each other and one said, "Do you think we should have told him about the rocks just under the water?"

Three Crooks at Confession

One time three very bad people felt guilty for the different crimes they committed and went to a church to ask God for forgiveness. There, they found a priest. So all three of them went to the priest. The first crook said, "Oh, Father! I have killed an innocent man and now I am feeling very guilty! Please ask God to forgive me!" The priest murmured a blessing and told the crook, "God has forgiven you my son, and now go and drink the water from the well of purity." The Father pointed toward a fountain with sparkling water. The first crook went and drank the water. "The water tastes weird," he said and went away. The second crook came to the priest and said, "Oh, Father! I have stolen a lot of money from many people and now I am feeling very guilty! Please ask God to forgive me!" The priest murmured a blessing and said, "God has forgiven you my son, and now go and drink the water from the well of purity." So the second crook went and drank the sparkling water in the fountain. "This water tastes funny," he said and went away. Now only the third crook remained. "What is it that you did wrong, my son?" the priest asked. With an uneasy look the last crook said, "I peed in the well."

Sherlock Holmes, Winston, Women and Bananas

Sherlock Holmes and Watson were walking through a park, when they passed three women, eating bananas. "Good evening, ladies," said Sherlock. After they passed, Watson asked if he knew those women. "No, Watson, I didn't know that nun, prostitute, or bride." Baffled, Watson asks how he knew their identities. "Elementary, my dear Watson. The nun was eating the banana by breaking it into small pieces. The prostitute was shoving the banana into her mouth. And the bride was holding the banana with one hand and forcing her head down with the other."