Expensive Birthday

A middle-aged Jewish guy is out to dinner with his wife to celebrate her 40th birthday. He says, "So what would you like, Julie?  A Jaguar?  A sable coat?  A diamond necklace?" She says, "Bernie, I want a divorce." He says, "I wasn't planning on spending that much."

Most Religious

A Jew, a Christian and a Muslim were having a discussion about who was the most religious.
"I was riding my camel in the middle of the Sahara," exclaimed the Muslim "Suddenly, a fierce sandstorm appeared out of nowhere. I truly thought my end had come as I lay next to my camel while we being buried deeper and deeper under the sand. But I did not lose my faith in the Almighty Allah, I prayed and prayed and suddenly, for a hundred miles all around me, the storm had stopped. Since that day, I am a devout Muslim and am now learning to recite the Koran by memory."
"One day while fishing," started the Christian," I was in my little dinghy in the middle of the ocean. Suddenly, a fierce storm appeared out of nowhere. I truly thought my end had come as my little dinghy was tossed up and down in the rough ocean. But I did not lose my faith in Jesus Christ, I prayed and prayed and suddenly, for 300 miles all around me, the storm had stopped. Since that day I am a devout Christian and am now teaching young children about Him."
"One day I was walking down the road," explained the Jew," I was in my most expensive designer outfit in the middle of New York city. Suddenly I saw a black bag on the ground in front of me appear from nowhere. I put my hand inside and found a million dollars in cash. I truly thought my end had come as it was a Saturday, and we are not allowed to handle money on Saturdays. But I did not lose my faith in Jehova, I prayed and prayed and suddenly, for 500 miles all around me, it was Tuesday... "

Jewish Boy asks for Money

A Jewish boy asks his father for $50. The father replies, "$40, what do you need $30 for?"