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Religion Jokes - God Jokes

God's New Commandment
NEWS FLASH: GOD ANNOUNCES THE 11TH COMMANDMENT!
During a recent staff meeting in Heaven, God, Moses, and Saint Peter concluded that the behavior of Ex-President Clinton has brought about the need for an eleventh commandment. They worked long and hard in a brain-storming session to try to settle on the wording of the new commandment, because they realized that it should have the same style, majesty and dignity as the original ten. They began their brain-storming and came up with the 11th. After many revisions, they finally agreed that the eleventh commandment should be:
"Thou shalt not comfort thy rod with thy staff."
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Bobby Knight's Place in Heaven
Bobby Knight, after living a full life, died. When he got to heaven, God was showing him around. They came to a modest little house with a faded IU flag in the window. "This house is yours for eternity, Bobby," said God. "This is very special; not everyone gets a house up here." Bobby felt special, indeed, and walked up to his house. On his way up the porch, he noticed another house just around the corner. It was a three-story mansion with a black and gold sidewalk, 50-foot tall flagpole with an enormous Purdue flag and, in every window, a Boilermaker logo. Bobby looked at God and said "God, I'm not trying to be ungrateful, but I have a question. I was a good coach, I won 3 NCAA titles, 600+ games and I even went to the hall of fame. So why does Gene Keady get a better house than me?" God chuckled, and said "Bobby, that's not Gene Keady's house, it's mine!"
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Garden of Eden
Adam was strolling through the garden and he asked God, "God can you put someone else on this planet with me? It's kind of lonely here." So God said, "I will put on earth a woman."
"'What is this ‘woman’?" asked Adam. "A woman is somebody who will provide companionship and take care of all your needs," explained God. "Oh holy master, what is the price for this women",' asked Adam. "The price for her is your left arm and your right eye," said God. Then Adam replied, "Ehh... what can I get for a rib?".
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