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Religion Jokes - Devil Jokes
Top Ten Subtle Differences Between College And Hell
10. It doesn't snow in Hell.
9. Everyone has heard of Hell.
8. It's more fun getting into Hell.
7. You can't fail out of Hell.
6. At least you can sleep in Hell.
5. Hell is forever, college just seems like it.
4. People smile in Hell.
3. You only have to sell your soul to get into Hell.
2. You know there are hot men in Hell.
1. You wouldn't tell a friend to go to college.
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Engineer In the Wrong Place
An engineer died and reported to the pearly gates. An intern angel, filling in for St. Peter, checked his dossier and grimly said, "Ah, you're an engineer; you're in the wrong place." So the engineer was cast down to the gates of hell and was let in. Pretty soon, the engineer became gravely dissatisfied with the level of comfort in hell, and began designing and building improvements. After a while, the underworld had air conditioning, flush toilets, and escalators, and the engineer was becoming a pretty popular guy among the demons. One day, God called Satan up on the telephone and asked with a sneer, "So, how's it going down there in hell?" Satan laughed and replied, "Hey, things are going great. We've got air conditioning and flush toilets and escalators, and there's no telling what this engineer is going to come up with next." God's face clouded over and he exploded, "What? You've got an engineer? That's a mistake; he should never have gotten down there; send him up here." Satan shook his head, "No way. I like having an engineer on the staff, and I'm keeping him." God was as mad as he had ever been, "This is not the way things are supposed to work and you know it. Send him back up here or I'll sue." Satan laughed uproariously, "Yeah, right. And just where are YOU going to get a lawyer?"
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Orange Split
Two little boys stole a big bag of oranges from a neighbor's tree. They decided to go to a nearby cemetery to share the loot equally. As they were jumping over the gate to enter the cemetery, two oranges fell but they didn't bother to pick them since they had plenty more in the bag.
A few minutes later, a drunkard on his way from a bar passed near the cemetery gate and heard a voice saying, "One for me, one for you. One for me, one for you. One for me, one for you." He immediately sobered up and ran as fast as he could to a nearby church for the priest. " Father, please come with me. Come and witness God and Satan sharing souls at the cemetery." They both ran back to the cemetery gate and again heard the voice. "One for me, one for you. One for me, one for you. One for me, one for you."
Suddenly, the voice stopped counting and said: "What about the two at the gate?"
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