Belfast Taxi

An American guy goes to Belfast and the taxi driver at the airport asks him if he's Protestant or Catholic. Guy says he's jewish. The cab driver says, "Oh, I understand." A minute of silence passes and the driver asks, "So are you a Protestant Jew or a Catholic Jew?"

The Vicar's Sunday Morning Walk

The new Vicar was up early one Sunday morning, walking around his new parish, after leaving his wife in bed with the Sunday papers, her cup of tea, and a pack of cigarettes. One of the old villagers came up to him and said, "Good morning Vicar, how be you and the wife?".  The Vicar said, "Good morning my man, I am fine, the wife is fine also, as I left her in bed smoking." The villager said, "Arr, Vicar, that's the way to fuck 'em!"

False God Talk

People who talk about false gods are engaged in idol gossip.