Return to Confession

I went into the confessional box after years of being away from the Church. Inside I found a fully equipped bar with Guinness on tap. On one wall, there's a row of decanters with fine Irish whiskey and Waterford crystal glasses. On the other wall is a dazzling array of the finest cigars and chocolates. Then the priest comes in. I say to him, "Father, forgive me, for it's been a very long time since I've been to confession, but I must first admit that the confessional box is much more inviting than it used to be." He replies: “Get out, you moron, you're on my side."

I Know I'm God

The Pope is hearing confessions at St. Patrick’s Cathedral, a man goes into the booth and the Pope says what do you have to confess my son…
Man:  Why should I confess to you when I know I'm God?
Pope:  Nice try, but I can see your hair through the screen, Mr. Trump.

Sleepwalking Nun

Q: What do you call a nun that sleepwalks?
A: A Roman Catholic!!