The Pope and Clinton

After a meeting with the Pope, Bill Clinton held a press conference and announced that they had a very successful conference and had agreed on about 60% of what they discussed. When asked what they discussed, Clinton replied: "The Ten Commandments."

Catholic Porn Film

Q: Have you seen the hottest new Catholic porn film?
A: It's 10 minutes of sex and 50 minutes of guilt.

Protestant to Catholic Conversion

A protestant moved into a completely Catholic community. Being good Catholics they welcomed him into their community. But, also because they were good Catholics they did not eat red meat on Fridays. So, when their neighbor began barbequeing some juicy steak on Friday night, they began to squirm. They were so annoyed that they went to talk to him about it. After much talk they convinced him to become Catholic. The next Sunday he went to the priest and the priest sprinkled holy water on him and said: "You were born Protestant. You were raised Protestant. But now you are Catholic!" And so, the next Friday, as the neighbors sat down to eat their fish, they were disturbed by the smell of roast beef coming from the neighboring house. They went over to talk to the new Catholic because he knew he was not supposed to eat beef on Fridays. When they saw him, he was sprinkling ketchup on the beef saying: "You were born a cow. You were raised a cow. But now you are fish!"