Rabbi Stern Converts

Rabbi Stern rides his bike down the road, when a truck careens around the corner, out of control, and broadsides the Rabbi. Father Flannery watches this event unfold, and as he runs toward the Rabbi, he notices that Rabbi Stern first touches his forehead, then his stomach, then each shoulder. As Father Flannery reaches the Rabbi, he kneels and makes the sign of the cross himself. "Rabbi, I notice that you crossed yourself after getting up from the accident. It's a miracle, must be! Have you seen the light? Do you believe, man?" "Aw, heck no!" replied Rabbi Stern, "I was just checking." "Checking? Checking for what?" Rabbi Stern begins the ritual again, and follows each movement with: "Spectacles... Testicles... Wallet... Watch!"

Priest Swimming Lessons

A priest is teaching a nun how to swim and the nun says to the priest "Will I really sink if you take your finger out?"

God Is Watching

The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray: "Take only ONE. God is watching." Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies. A child had written a note, "Take all you want. God is watching the apples!"