Nuns

The head nun at the convent says, "I found a pair of men's underwear under my desk!"  Twenty nuns gasp, but one nun goes "Heh, heh, heh..."  She says, "And I found a used condom on my desk!"  Twenty nuns gasp, but one nun goes "Heh, heh, heh..."  She says, "And there was a huge tear in the condom!"  One nun gasps, but twenty nuns go, "Heh, heh, heh."

Marine Confession

A Marine enters the Catholic Church confessional booth in Jacksonville. He tells the priest, "Bless me, Father, for I have sinned. Last night, I beat the hell out of an Obama supporter."
The priest says, "My son, I am here to forgive your sins, not to discuss your community service."

The Pope Cutting Potatoes

Q: What does the Pope use to cut potatoes?
A: El pela papas.