Relationship Jokes - Marriage Jokes

Couple's Separate Beds

A husband and wife sleep in separate twin beds. One night he asks his wife to come over to his bed to fool around. As the wife gets up to walk over to his bed, she trips over the carpet and falls flat on her face. The husband looks up concerned and says, "Oh did my little wifey fall on her little nosey wosey?" She laughs and gets in his bed. When they are done, she gets up to go back to her bed and falls over the rug again. Her husband looks over his shoulder to see her on the floor, rolls over and says, "Clumsy bitch."

Categories: Relationship Jokes (Marriage Jokes) , Relationship Jokes (Man Criticizes Woman)
Anonymous

The Hitman

Two guys are talking in a bar. “I want to kill my wife,” says one. “Why not ask Arti, over there,” says the other man, pointing to a man at the fruit-machine. “Arti over there is a top hitman,” the friend goes on. So the man approaches Arti. “Are you Arti the hit-man?” asks the man. “Sure am,” replies Arti. “You couldn’t murder my wife for me, could you?” asks the man. “I can,” replies Arti, “And you know, I promised my Master, who taught me the noble art of assassination, that I would do my one hundredth kill for a fee of just one pound and give the client two further kills for free.” “Great,” says the man. Could you kill my wife, her sister and my mother-in-law?” “OK”, replies Arti. “Get them to go to Tesco’s tomorrow at 10:00 AM.” “Right,” says the man. The following day the man’s wife, her sister and his mother-in-law are tricked by the man to go to Tesco’s. In walks Arti and in no time at all he strangles the wife, her sister and mother-in-law. All the newspapers lead with the same headline the following day – Arti chokes three for a pound at Tesco’s.

Categories: Dark Humor Jokes (Death Jokes) , Jokes about Families (Mother-in-Law Jokes) , Jokes about Families (Sister Jokes) , Relationship Jokes (Marriage Jokes)
Anonymous

Pathetic

You're pathetic. Don't believe me? Ask your wife, she might tell you since she probably tells her friends what a dipsh*t you are.

Categories: Insult Jokes (Stupid Insults) , Relationship Jokes (Marriage Jokes)
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Anonymous
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