Back From Vacation

Returning from her vacation, the young secretary was telling anyone who would listen about what a fun time she had. She then asked for two weeks leave in which to get married. "But you just had two weeks off," said the boss. "Why didn't you get married then?"
"What, and ruin my vacation?" she whined.

New Positions

Husband: Shall we try a new positon tonight?
Wife: Sure. You stand by the ironing board and I'll sit on the couch and drink beer and fart!

Great Gifts

William Bennett recalls when one of his "radical students" at Boston University announced that he and his girlfriend were getting married for "as long as we feel good about each other."
It seemed rather temporary to Dr. Bennett, so for a wedding present, he says, "I gave them paper plates."