Why Worry?

The next door neighbor of a middle-aged wife came over to inform her that her retired husband was chasing around after young prostitutes. The woman smiled, "So what?" The neighbor was surprised, "It doesn't bother you that he's running around with those women?" The woman replied, "I also have a little dog who chases cars and buses, too."

Marriage Quotes 8

• If your wife wants to learn how to drive, don't stand in her way.
• In marriage, as in war, it is permitted to take every advantage of the enemy.
• In marriage, the bridge gets a shower. But for the groom, it's curtains!
• Jimmy Carter as President is like Truman Capote marrying Dolly Parton. The job is just too big for him. - Rich Little
• Joint Checking Account: a handy little device which permits my wife to beat me to the draw.
• Long engagements give people the opportunity of finding out each other's character before marriage, which is never advisable. - Oscar Wilde
• Losing a wife can be hard. In my case, it was almost impossible.
• Love thy neighbor, but make sure her husband is away first.
• Love: An obsessive delusion that is cured by marriage.
• Man and wife make one fool.

The Most Dangerous Food

A dietician was once addressing a large audience in Chicago. "The material we put into our stomachs is enough to have killed most of us sitting here, years ago. Red meat is awful. Vegetables can be disastrous, and none of us realizes the germs in our drinking water. But there is one thing that is the most dangerous of all and we all eat it. Can anyone here tell me what lethal product I'm referring to? You, sir, in the first row, please give us your idea." The man lowered his head and said, "Wedding cake."