Offended

Three honeymoon couples find themselves in adjacent rooms in a hotel. As they are getting undressed, the first man says to his wife, "What huge buttocks!" Much offended, she threw him into the corridor. The second man, also undressing, says to his wife, "Christ! What huge tits!." She is also greatly offended and throws him out into the corridor. Several minutes later, the third newlywed husband arrives in the corridor as well. The other two ask, "What happened? Did you put your foot in it?" "No, but I could have!" the third man replied.

Let Me See

A 90-year old man announces his intention to marry a woman of 30. He is persuaded to have a medical exam first. "Everyone tells me I need a checkup to see if I'm sexually fit," he says to the doctor. "Okay," says the medic, "let me see your sex organs." So the old guy sticks out his tongue and his middle finger.

Not Going to Church

A couple was having their Sunday morning breakfast when the wife went to get her Sunday church clothes on. When she returned, the husband was still in his bathrobe. "Aren't you going to church this morning?" asked the wife. "No, I'm not going this morning. In fact, I'm not going to church anymore at all." "What do you mean, we've gone to church for years, so why the change?" He responded, "Look, there are people at that church who don't like me, and frankly, there are people at that church that I don't like, and I'M NOT GOING!" She answered back, "I'll give you two good reasons why you need to go to church. One, you're 42 years old. Two, you gotta go, you're the preacher."