Complications

Q: Wife: If I died, would you get married again?
A: Husband: Probably not, my current GF won't leave her husband.

Too Much!

A couple returned from their honeymoon and it's obvious to everyone that they are not talking to each other. The groom's best man takes him aside and asks what is wrong. "Well," replied the man, "When we had finished making love on the first night, as I got up to go to the bathroom I put a $50 bill on the pillow without thinking." "Oh, you shouldn't worry about that too much," said his friend. "I'm sure your wife will get over it soon enough - she can't expect you to have been saving yourself all these years!" The groom nodded gently and said, "I don't know if I can get over this though. She gave me $20 change!"

He's The Boss

If you constantly hear a married man brag about how he runs everything around the house, you can be sure that he is referring to the lawn mower, the car, the errands, and the baby carriage.