Viagra Contraband

A stranger walks up to an Egyptian man at the Cairo bazaar and offers to sell him contraband Viagra for 100 Egyptian pounds. The Egyptian man says, "No, not worth it." The stranger says, "How about 20?" The Egyptian man says, "No, not worth it." The stranger says, "How about 10?" The Egyptian man says, "No, not worth it." The stranger says, "Listen, these pills cost $10 each in the U.S. How can you say they're not worth it?" The Egyptian man says, "Oh, the pills are worth it -- my wife isn't."

Opposites Attract

"You and your husband don't seem to have an awful lot in common," said the new tenant's neighbor. "Why on earth did you get married?" "I suppose it was the old business of 'opposites attract'," was the reply. "He wasn't pregnant and I was."

Marriage Quotes

• My other wife is beautiful.
• My wife doesn't care what I do away from home, as long as I don't enjoy it.
• My wife has a split personality, and I hate both of them.
• My wife ran off with my best friend last week. I miss him!
• My wife says if I go fishing one more time she's going to leave me. Gosh, I'm going to miss her.
• My wife submits and I obey; she always lets me have her way.
• Never be unfaithful to a lover, except with your wife.
• No man should marry until he has studied anatomy and dissected at least one woman.
• Nothing says loving like marrying your cousin!
• I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me.