Relationship Jokes - Marriage Jokes

Firm This Up

One morning, while she was making breakfast, the local fitness freak walked up to his wife, pinched her on the bum and said, "You know dear if you firmed this up we could get rid of your girdle." This was a bit over the limit, but she controlled herself and replied with silence. Next morning the man woke his wife with a pinch on the breast. "You know love if you firmed these up we could get rid of your bras." That was too far over the limit. She rolled over and grabbed him by the penis. Maintaining a vice grip, she whispered in his ear, "You know dear if you firmed this up we could get rid of the postman, the pool man, the gardener and your brother."

Categories: Relationship Jokes (Marriage Jokes) , Appearance Jokes , Sex Jokes
Anonymous

Shower Talk

A man and his wife shower together. The husband puts his hand on her breast and says, "These are nice, but if they were a bit firmer you could walk around without a bra for me." Then the husband pats her butt and says, "This is nice, but if it was a bit firmer, you could walk around without panties for me." The wife turns around to her husband, grabs his groin and says, "This is nice, but if it was a little bigger, I wouldn't need your brother."
 

Categories: Relationship Jokes (Marriage Jokes) , Sex Jokes (Private Parts) , Relationship Jokes (Cheater Jokes)
Anonymous

Note on the Fridge

I came home from the golf course today. The wife had left a note on the refrigerator, "IT'S NOT WORKING, I can't take it anymore! Gone to stay with my mother."
I opened the fridge, the light came on, and the beer was cold. What the hell is she talking about?

Categories: Relationship Jokes (Marriage Jokes) , Relationship Jokes (Divorce Jokes) , Relationship Jokes (Man Criticizes Woman) , Relationship Jokes (Woman Criticizes Man) , Sports Jokes (Golf Jokes)
Submitted BY: xXK33L0Xx
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