Counseling

My wife and I were having issues so we went to a marriage counselor. The counselor recommended that we relive our first date to get a fresh start. I have to admit it was a great idea. I took her to dinner and then a movie. After the movie, we parked in lovers lane and I banged her like a screen door in a tornado. Then I dropped her off at her parent's house. Spent the rest of the weekend watching football. Life is good!

Always By My Side

A woman's husband had been slipping in and out of a coma for several months, yet she stayed by his bedside every single day. When he came to, he motioned for her to come nearer. As she sat by him, he said, "You know what? You have been with me all through the bad times. When I got fired, you were there to support me. When my business failed, you were there. When I got shot, you were by my side. When we lost the house, you gave me support. When my health started failing, you were still by my side... You know what?" "What dear?" She asked gently. "I think you bring me bad luck."

Grab Him By The

Treat him like a flower...grab him by the stalk.