Wrong Suggestion

A husband, tired of his wife asking him how she looks, buys her a full length mirror. This does little to help, as now she just stands in front of the mirror, looking at herself, asking him how she looks.
One day, fresh out of the shower, she is yet again in front of the mirror, now complaining that her breasts are too small. Uncharacteristically, the husband comes up with a suggestion. "If you want your breasts to grow, then every day take a piece of toilet paper, and rub it between your breasts for a few seconds."
Willing to try anything, the wife fetches a piece of toilet paper, and stands in front of the mirror, rubbing it between her breasts. "How long will this take?" she asks.
"They'll grow larger over a period of years," he replies.
The wife stops. "Why do you think rubbing a piece of toilet paper between my breasts every day will make my breasts grow over the years?"
The husband shrugs. "Why not, it worked for your butt, didn't it?" (He lived, and, with a great deal of therapy, he might walk again.)

Wedding Tragedy

Q: What is a wedding tragedy?
A: To marry a man for love, and then find out he has no money!

Two Buddies

Two buddies get together and decide to go to a whorehouse, one of them tired of doing it with his wife all the time, the other not having it done for a long time. The married one goes up and comes down and says "My wife is much better". "Alright" goes the other guy, "Let me go try the same woman." Well he goes and screws the whore, comes than says to his buddy, "You are right man, your wife is much better."