Bra Shopping

My wife was trying to describe what it's like shopping for a bra. She said, "It'd be like trying to find something to hold your dick that looks nice and feels good."
I looked her in the eye and said, "I did."

Two-story house

Two-story house:
A man appears before a judge one day, asking for a divorce. The judge quietly reviews some papers and then says, "Please tell me why you are seeking a divorce." "Because," the man says, "I live in a two-story house." The Judge replies, "What kind of a reason is that? What is the big deal about a two story house?" The man answers, "Well Judge, one story is 'I have a headache' and the other story is 'It's that time of the month.'

Married Man's Playboy Magazine

Q: Did you hear about the new magazine for married men published by Playboy?
A: It has the same pictures month after month after month after month after month...