Backup Needed

I'm not saying my girlfriend is promiscuous, but when she goes to the gynecologist, it's a two man job.

Jerks Get Attractive Wives

While reading a newspaper, Walter came across an article about a beautiful actress and model who married a boxer who was noted for his IQ. "I'll never understand," he said to his wife, "why the biggest jerks get the most attractive wives." His wife replied, "Why, thank you, dear!"

Go Softly

Here lies my wife in earthy mold; when she lived did naught but scold. Good friends go softly in your walking; lest she should wake and rise up talking.