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Relationship Jokes - Dating Jokes
Full Heart, Empty Head
Michael Hoolihan was courting Frances Phelan. The young couple sat in the parlor of the girl's house night after night, much to the annoyance of old man Phelan. One night he couldn't take any more.
Standing at the top of the stairs, he yelled down, "What's that young fella doin' here all hours of the night?"
"Why, Dad, " said Frances, "Michael was just telling me everything that's in his heart!"
"Well, next time, " roared Phelan, "just let him tell you what's in his head, and it won't take half as long!"
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Small Penis
This couple has been dating for about four months, but the guy had been afraid of making any sexual advances because of his tiny organ. Finally, he gets up his courage and takes her to a secluded spot in his car. While they are kissing, he opens his zipper and guides her hand onto his penis. "No thanks," the girl says. "You know I don't smoke."
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Boyfriends Over for Dinner
Three girls asked their mother if they could invite their boyfriends over for dinner. Their mother told them to go upstairs to get ready and to call them. An hour later, when the girls were not downstairs yet, and the boyfriends had still not shown up, the mother went to check on the three girls. She went to the first girl's door and she was laughing. She didn't say anything and she went to the second girl's door. She was crying. She didn't say a word and she went to the third girl's door. The third girl wasn't saying anything. So the mother went back to the first girl's door. "Why are you laughing?" "It's so small it tickles!" She went to the second girl's door and asked her why she was crying. "It's so big, I can't get it out!" She went to the third girl's door and asked her why she wasn't saying anything. "Well," the third girl replied, "you've always told me not to talk with my mouth full!"
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