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Relationship Jokes - Cheater Jokes
Homing Device
Wife #1: Hey, Lynn, tell me this. How did you get your husband from staying out late?
Wife #2: Well, every time he would come home I would simply say, 'Mike, is that you?'
Wife #1: I still don't understand. How did that keep him from staying out?
Wife #2: My husband's name is Andrew.
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The Train
A man and his wife check into a hotel. The husband wants to have a drink at the bar, but his wife is extremely tired so she decides to go on up to their room to rest.
Just after she lies down on the bed an elevated train passes by very close to the window and shakes the room so hard she's thrown out of the bed. Thinking this must be a freak occurrence, she lies down once more. Moments later another train shakes the room so violently, she's again pitched to the floor.
Exasperated, she calls the front desk and asks for the manager. The manager says he'll be right up. The manager is skeptical but the wife insists the story is true. "Look... lie here on the bed -- you'll be thrown right to the floor!" So he lies down next to the wife.
Just then the husband walks in. "What," he says, "are you doing here?
The manager calmly replies, "Would you believe I'm waiting for a train?"
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Red Silk Panties
After a few casual dates with one of his coworkers a young man decided to heat things up by having a pair of bright red silk panties delivered to her on the morning of Valentine's Day. Anxious to find out what she thought of them, he met her that afternoon of at a local pub. Seeing her enter the establishment wearing a mini dress and high heels with gleeful smile across her face, his heart began to race. " Did you like the red silk panties I sent you for Valentine's Day," he asked anxiously? " Yes," she exclaimed with a squeal. "I couldn't wait to put them on." " Are you wearing them now," he asked almost swallowing his Adam's apple? Suddenly her once ecstatic face was replaced by a look of disturbed confusion. "Damn," she said, "I must have left them at my boyfriend's place."
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