What a Yawn Means

Q: How can you tell if your date really digs oral sex?
A: She hikes up her skirt every time you yawn.

Public Stock

A stockbroker catches his wife in bed with another man. He says to her, "What's going on?" She says, "Believe it or not, John, I've gone public!"

Waking Grumpy

Marriage counselor to female client: Maybe your problem is that you've been waking up grumpy every morning.
Client: No, I always let him sleep.