China Earthquake

Authorities in Beijing have advised that the Earthquake felt by millions last night was nothing to worry about.
It was just the start of China's two-child policy.

Cowboys Rating Women

Two cowboys lean against the rail at their favorite bar and rate women as they go by. A beautiful brunette passes. The first cowboy says, "I'll give her a 3." The other cowboy nods. Next, a hot redhead walks by. The second cowboy looks her up and down and says to the first cowboy, "Well, I think that one must be a 4." The first cowboy nods. Finally, a drop-dead gorgeous blonde approaches. The cowboys straighten up and tip their hats back a little for a better look. The first cowboy smiles real wide and says, "Damn! That one has GOT to be a 6." The second cowboy nods. Overhearing this, the woman turns around sharply and looks the first cowboy in the eye, "I'll have you know, I've been rated far higher than that by far better men than YOU." And the second cowboy says, "But, ma'am, you don't understand -- we use a different kind a rating system. We use the equestrian method." Taken aback, she asks, "What the hell is the equestrian method?" The first cowboy smiles and says slowly, "Well ma'am, that's how many Clydesdales it would take to pull you off my face."

Why Worry?

The next door neighbor of a middle-aged wife came over to inform her that her retired husband was chasing around after young prostitutes. The woman smiled, "So what?" The neighbor was surprised, "It doesn't bother you that he's running around with those women?" The woman replied, "I also have a little dog who chases cars and buses, too."