Not a Big Deal

A man comes home from work one day and he says to his wife "Honey, I got a new secretary. And imagine what happened! She's got a red and white bra. You know, these are the colors of my favorite football team. Anyway, it's not a big deal but it feels good."
The next day, when the man got home his wife asks, "How was your day?"
The man says "Fantastic! It's not only her bra that is red and white but also her panties. You know it's not a big deal but it really feels good!"
The third day they meet at home after work, and now the man asks his wife, "And what happened today in your office, honey?"
She says, "Oh, nothing special, sweetheart. I got a new boss today. His dick is two inches longer than yours. You know it's not a big deal but, hell, it feels good!"

Reporting In

Best man reading a telegram: From your friends on the H.M.C.S. Harmen, "At ten o clock, please report position and depth."

Open-minded Insult

Insult: Hey, you're not much of a looker, but I'll date you.
Response: Thanks. You must be very open-minded. Was that how your brain slipped out?