Uh-Oh!!

The husband finally wised up to the fact that his wife was less than faithful. He hired a private investigator to follow her and in less than a week, had all the information that he needed on the "other man".
The husband convinced himself that his would still be in a loving and trustworthy marriage had not this S.O.B. come onto the scene. Being a man of the 90's and all, he decided to handle the matter in what he judged to be sophisticated and business-likemanner.
He sent the following e-mail to his wife's lover: Sir, It has been brought to my attention that for some time now you have been carrying on an affair with my wife. So that we may settle this matter in an intelligent fashion, please be at my office at 3 PM on Friday next.
The "other man" was highly amused by the husband's formal manner and sent off the following reply at once: Dear Sir, I have received a copy of your mass mailing this morning. You may be advised that I will attend the scheduled conference in your Office's auditorium.

Busted

Caught my wife having sex with my best friend.
She can pack her bags and get out and he's going back to the dog shelter.

Best BF Ever

A guy is running on a treadmill in the gym and he sees an iPhone X sitting on the next treadmill with no one around. Just then it starts ringing and a buff dude comes and answers it on speakerphone. It's a sweet voice of a young woman. The conversation goes like this:
Women: HEY BABY!!! ARE YOU STILL AT THE GYM?
Buff Dude: Yeah!!
Women: Well, okay, so I'm out shopping with my friend Sarah and we see this beautiful dress, it's so gorgeous! It's the last one and it's on sale. Sarah says it makes me look hot and that I should buy it now. I think so too but I don't have that much cash.  Would you mind if I use your card to buy it? It's only $600. Please Please?
Buff Dude: Okay!!!
Women: THANK YOU HONEY!!! Also, there's this beautiful necklace that matches the dress and it's on sale for $199. The dress is nothing without the necklace, can I get it too?
Buff Dude: Yeah!!
Women: OMG!! you are the best and speaking of the best you know that Kaitlyn's wedding is coming up and these guys have this beautiful gown, It will make me look like a princess and it's only $1200.  Can I get that now too?
Buff Dude: get it...
Women: OH MY GOSH...YOU ARE THE BEST BOYFRIEND EVER !!! I LOVE YOU SOOOOO MUCH...THANK YOU VERY MUCH. I'M GONNA TREAT YOU FOR THIS. DON'T SPEND ALL OF YOUR ENERGY AT THE GYM, YOU'RE GONNA NEED IT TONIGHT!
LOVE YOU!!!
Buff Dude: Bye!!
The buff dude takes the phone and leaves.  The guy can't believe the conversation, figures the buff dude must be loaded and babe extremely hot. A few minutes later he hears a page over the gym loudspeaker:
Would the person who lost an iPhone X please come to the front desk - you had a phone call!