Relationship Jokes

Expansion Test

Q: How do you know your girlfriend is getting fat? 
A: When she can fit into your wife's clothes.

Submitted BY: durtylub

Wooden Leg

Harry was delighted when he found a young woman who accepted his proposal of marriage as he was sensitive about his wooden leg and a bit afraid no one would have him. In fact, he couldn't bring himself to tell his fiancee` about his leg when he slipped the ring on her finger, nor when she bought the dress, nor when they picked the time and place. All he kept saying was, "Darling, I've got a big surprise for you," at which she blushed and smiled bewitchingly. The wedding night came and went, and the young couple were at last alone in their hotel room. "Now don`t forget, Harry, you promised me a big surprise," said the bride. Unable to say a word, Harry turned out the lights, unstrapped his wooden leg, slipped into bed, and placed his wife`s hand on the stump. "Hmmmmm," she said softly, "that IS a surprise. But pass me the Vaseline and I`ll see what I can do!"

Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous

Small Penis

This couple has been dating for about four months, but the guy had been afraid of making any sexual advances because of his tiny organ. Finally, he gets up his courage and takes her to a secluded spot in his car. While they are kissing, he opens his zipper and guides her hand onto his penis. "No thanks," the girl says. "You know I don't smoke."

Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous
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