Relationship Jokes

Custody Rights

A couple wants a divorce, but first they must decide who will be the main guardian of their child. The jury asks both the man and woman for a reason why they should be the one to keep the child. So the jury asks the woman first. She says, "Well I carried this child around in my womb for nine months and I had to go through a painful birth process, this is my child and a part of me." The jury is impressed and then turns to ask the man the same question. The man replies, "OK, I take a coin and put it in the drink machine and a drink comes out, now tell me who does the drink belong to me or the machine."

Anonymous

The Rubdown

A hospital patient, recovering from minor surgery, was being given an alcohol rubdown by two of the hospital's more attractive nurses. While manipulating the man's body they noted that the word "tiny" was tattooed on the head of his penis.
Some months after the man's discharge, Mary, one of the nurses, told Joan, the other, that she had dated their former patient. "How could you go out with a man that had 'tiny' tattooed on his love stick?" exclaimed Joan.
"How could I indeed!" said Mary. "It said 'tiny' when it was soft, but when aroused, it spelled: 'Tiny's Delicatessen & Catering Service. We deliver at all times, twenty-four hours a day!!!'"

Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous

Boyfriend And Husband

Q: What is the difference between a boyfriend and a husband?
A: 45 minutes.

Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous
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