Hard Times

A married couple are having hard financial times so they decide that their only option is for the wife to become a prostitute. She’s not quite sure what to do, so the husband says, “Stand in front of that bar and pick up a guy. Tell him that you charge a hundred bucks. If you have a question, I’ll be parked around the corner.”
She’s been standing there for 5 minutes when a guy pulls up and asks, “How much?”
She says, “$100”
He says, “All I have is $30”.
She says, “Hold on,” and runs back to her husband and asks, “What can he get for thirty?” “A hand job”, was the reply.
She runs back and tells the guy for $30 he gets a hand job. He agrees, so she gets in the car, he unzips his pants, and out pops this HUGE member...
She stares at it for a minute, and then says, “I’ll be right back.” She runs back to her husband, and asks, “Can you loan this guy seventy bucks?”

Get Married

Make love, not war, or get married and do both.

A Couple's Skunk

A fellow always wanted to own a pet skunk, so in the dead of winter, he took his girlfriend with him to go hunting for one.
After a bit of waiting, they bagged a skunk and brought him back to the truck. The skunk was very scared and very cold, so the guy asks his girlfriend if she can keep the skunk between her legs to keep him warm. "But what about the smell?" asks his girlfriend. "Oh, he'll get used to it, just like I did."