Ego

Three words to ruin a man's ego. "Is it in?"

Apologetic Spouse

"Mrs. Riley, you say you divorced your husband 6 years ago, but you have a newborn infant and children 1, 2, 3, and 4 years old. How come?"
"Well, every year, he comes back to apologize."

Form Vs Function

A woman sits opposite a fat man on a bus and can’t help making a comment. “If that stomach was on a woman I’d think she was pregnant.” The fat man replies, “It was. She is.”