Never Again

Whenever your ex says, "You'll never find someone like me," the answer to that is, "That's the point."

You'll Never Hear a Man Say...

Things You'll Never Hear A Man Say:

• Here honey, you use the remote.
• You know, I'd like to see her again, but her breasts are just too big.
• Ooh, Antonio Banderas AND Brad Pitt? That's one movie I gotta see!
• While I'm up, can I get you anything?
• Honey since we don't have anything else planned, will you go to the wallpaper store with me?
• Why don't you go to the mall with me and help me pick out a pair of shoes?
• Aww, forget Monday night football, let's watch Melrose Place.
• Hey let me hold your purse while you try that on.
• We never talk anymore.

Who's Fishing?

A woman is in bed with her lover who also happens to be her husband's best friend. They make love for hours, and afterwards, while they're just laying there, the phone rings. Since it is the woman's house, she picks up the receiver.  Her lover looks over at her and listens, only hearing her side of the conversation (she is speaking in a cheery voice) "Hello? Oh, hi. I'm so glad that you called. Really? That's wonderful.  I am so happy for you. That sounds terrific. Great! Thanks. Okay. Bye Bye." She hangs up the telephone and her lover asks, "Who was that?" "Oh" she replies, "That was my husband telling me all about the wonderful time he's having on his fishing trip with you."