Relationship Jokes

Tattooed Penis

A guy surprises his fiancee by having her name tattooed on his penis. In flowing script it says, "Wendy." On their Jamaican honeymoon, he uses a public bathroom and sees a Jamaican man who seems to have the same name tattooed on his penis. The husband asks, "So your girl's name is Wendy, too?" The guy looks down at his penis and says, "No, once de wrinkles come out, it says, 'Welcome to Jamaica, mon! Have a nice day."

Categories: Sex Jokes (Private Parts) , Relationship Jokes (Wedding Jokes)
Anonymous

The New Motorcycle

A man buys a new motorcycle. The salesperson tells him that when it rains to go outside and rub Vaseline on it because it protects it while also making it nice and shiny. Later that night, he goes to eat at his girlfriend's house, and the rule at their house is if you talk during supper you have to do the dishes. So they are eating and he looks at his girlfriend and kisses her. Nobody says anything, and he fucks her right at the table and nobody says anything. He looks over at her mom and kisses her too. Nobody says anything, so he does her too. Next thing he knows he looks outside and it is starts to rain outside, so he grabs the Vaseline out of his pocket. At that his girlfriend's dad stands up and says, ''Okay. I will do the damn dishes.''

Categories: Funny Thoughts , Sex Jokes (Gay Jokes) , Sex Jokes (Denied Sex Jokes) , Relationship Jokes (Cheater Jokes) , Relationship Jokes (Dating Jokes)
Anonymous

Sex Therapy

A man visits a sex therapist for help because he and his wife don't climax at the same time. The therapist tells the man that he once had the same problem and solved it by keeping a gun underneath his pillow. When he would be about to come, he'd fire the gun and his wife would come, too. The man thanks the therapist and promises to try it. He comes back the next week, pale and distraught. "What's wrong?" asks the therapist. "Well," the man says, "I tried your technique. I placed a .45 underneath the pillow, and that night when I was 69'ing with my wife, I fired the gun just as I was about to come." "And?" "She sh*t on my face and bit my d**k off."

Categories: Sex Jokes , Relationship Jokes (Marriage Jokes)
Anonymous
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